Woman in Black > Shark Attack!

Reports are coming in of a strange happening involving Peter Wilson (clever producer of The Woman in Black) and funnyman Griff Reece Jones, which has all been played out aboard Mr Wilson’s luxury holiday boat in the Pacific Ocean.

It’s said the unlikely pair and entourage were interrupted in their revalry by smoke and flames, forcing them all to dive head first into the rippling Ocean and avoid injury.

The little craft was soon totally consumed by FIRE sinking to the bottom like a stone, and the horrified unfortunates found their predicament had taken an even more sinister twist…the shivering party was surrounded by a school of Hammerhead Sharks! The Sharks ultimately turned out to be as friendly as Granddad and rescue came within half an hour, so all was well.

Before the boat burning it must have been quite a party with Griff’s humour and Peter’s knack for the macabre combining to cause horrendous sparks of joy. Luckily I can be slightly flippant about it now as no one was hurt. (I’m just off the phone to Stuart, my flippancy lawyer.)

The Woman in Black is the West End’s scariest show, all about a sunken faced ghost woman whose appearance signifies the death of a child! Spooky…and Disturbing!

Funnily enough I’m probably the only person in the country not to have seen a single performance in its 19 year run at the Fortune Theatre,

Why?

Because ghost stories cripple my fear gland, playing on the mind and inducing “Twisted Night Terrors”.

It all started when my Nan showed me a haunted picture in her house. Some black and white distant relatives posing for a family portrait shortly after the death of their eldest son in the Great War, BUT THE SON IS IN THE PICTURE!!!