No Man’s Land - Exclusive Rehearsal Photos

Posted by Ben Smith

September 5, 2008

No Man’s Land: Those of you who have been watching this blog like little hawks during its early thrashings of life over the past couple of weeks, will have surely seen (and no doubt thoroughly enjoyed) the post in which we ingeniously asked the question: “Can we take comedians seriously in London’s West End?”

So today, by way of a follow-up, I can present some exclusive rehearsal pictures from one of the exciting productions mentioned in that article - the much-anticipated No Man’s Land. This is the production of the Harold Pinter penned play starring funny man David Walliams, as well Michael Gambon, David Bradley and Nick Dunning.

“How is this possible?!” I hear you ask “Is Discount Theatre literally in league with the Devil?!” you scream, “How on earth could such amazing images have been procured without the aid of torture and tyranny?!”

Well, keep your hair on for just a minute and I will tell all…

Introducing Our Man on the Inside

I was sitting at my computer in Discount Theatre Towers the other day when the phone rang, and a peculiar person with a shaky Russian accent said in a harsh squawk: “Meet me on the dirty bench in Leicester Square in two minutes precisely.” As you can imagine, my ‘This is a theatre exclusive’ senses soared off the chart, so I surreptitiously got up from my wheely chair, and walked the short distance through the busy streets to the square. Beer-bellied men who probably liked eating pies and supporting West Ham were setting up the premiere of the new Keira Knightley film with strange super fans, stalkers and weirdos already lining up to glimpse the subject of their obsessive episodes.

I found the putrid bench, and sat down looking at my watch in scorn, and enjoying the fact that my mysterious phone friend was about to be late. With seconds to spare I noticed him dressed in a raincoat, trilby, and novelty dark glasses trying to sneak up and sit next to me without my knowing. I played along, and looked the other way…

Mysterious Person: “Don’t look at me I’m going to get up in a moment, and leave an envelope on the bench. If you want to live, do not try to follow me.”

Me: “Why are you speaking in that fake Russian accent?”

Mysterious Person: “Silence!!! In the envelope you will find exclusive rehearsal pictures for the new play NO MAN’S LAND, starring funny man David Walliams, as well as Michael Gambon, David Bradley and Nick Dunning. You are free to use them as you wish but if I find out that you have not properly credited the ingenious (not to mention handsome and debonair) photographer Marc Brenner I will have your balls in a bowl of lovingly prepared goulash faster than you can sing Long Live the King!”

That was it! No-one was going to have my balls and get away unscathed. It was time to confront my adversary and impart some rough justice and more than just a little piece of my mind. But when I turned to look my gift horse in the mouth he had vanished, leaving only a tiny green stain on the bench and the aforementioned envelope in its place.

My first fear was for some kind of anthrax attack on Discount Theatre Towers so I could not bring the envelope back to the office straight away for fear of an outbreak. I found my way down into the Gentlemen’s toilet to take one for the team.

With sweat pouring from my forehead / arm-pits and blood rushing through my heart, I carefully opened the package, and eased the contents free holding my breath…

Happily the amazing pictures emblazoned around this post fell out, rather than some low-grade biological WMD. Phew!

Who, or what, gave me these pictures is still a mystery, but all I can say is that I’m glad he’s on my side, and not with the enemy.

The Reviews are in…

Below you will find a very interesting review from the current run at the Gate Theatre Dublin, before the play transfers to London on September 20th. It’s amazing, the praise just keeps on Dublin and doubling and doubling…

I’m sorry comedy