Jude Law will be joined by Ron Cook, Peter Eyre, Gwilym Lee, John MacMillan, Kevin R McNally, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Matt Ryan, Alex Waldmann and Penelope Wilton in Michael Grandage’s production of Hamlet – the final production in the Donmar’s year long residency at the Wyndham’s Theatre.
Ron Cook returns to the Donmar to play Polonius. He is currently appearing as Sir Toby Belch in Twelfth Night, and previously appeared in Helpless, Juno and the Paycock and Glengarry Glen Ross. His many other theatre credits include The Seafarer, Howard Katz (National Theatre), Singer (Tricycle Theatre), Insignificance (Chichester Festival Theatre), Art (Wyndham’s) and extensive work for the RSC. For television, his work includes The Diary of Anne Frank, Fantabulosa, Funland, He Knew He Was Right, The Other Boleyn Girl and The Lost Prince; and for film, Hot Fuzz, Confetti, Charlotte Gray, Chocolat, Quills, Topsy Turvy, Secrets and Lies, and The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. Read more
After a long and arduous search across the globe (fingering vast pockets of untapped talent) Whoopi Goldberg has finally found the perfect girl to take the lead role of Deloris in her new musical version of hit movie Sister Act.
This brand spanking new West End Diva is Patina Miller, a relative newcomer from South Carolina whose major success in showbiz so far has been the acclaimed Broadway revival of Hair.
If you’ve never born witness to the fun-filled frolic that is the frenetic story of Sister Act then you’re missing out on a big chunk of heartwarming pie that I will now rehash into a 30 second cupcake… Read more
Those of you into glitzy awards ceremonies may be interested to know that every year all most important ‘faces’ in the West End also congregate to pat each other on the back. Scraping off the slimy grease paint with baby oil and giving out special little statues called “Olivier Awards”. (Who could that be named after???)
Anyway, I’m about to reveal the entire list of nominations but before I do there seems to be one obvious omission that blazes out like a beacon in the night…
Where on Earth is Carousel?
…with five star reviews, sell-out shows, and such a delicious cast. Three words come to mind in varying stages of severity:
1. Travesty!
2. Scandalous!!
3. Abomination!!!
Let the nominations begin: Read more
As the more perceptive of you may have noticed this morning, our little island has been covered in thick white snow from Russia.
At this point all shows will go ahead as planed this evening but should anything change we will contact the affected customers straight away to advise on the options.
You can have a look at the London travel situation here:
http://www.tfl.gov.uk/modalpages/2625.aspx
Leicester Square Monday 2nd February 2009, 10.38am:
Martin Harvey, the new Johnny Castle in the hit show Dirty Dancing, was today honoured with the acclaimed ‘Spotlight Best Male Dancer Classical’ Award at the prestigious Critics’ Circle National Dance Awards 2009, held at Sadler’s Wells Theatre. The Critics’ award was in recognition of Martin’s outstanding 11-year career at the Royal Ballet, dancing many of the great principal roles. Martin stunned the ballet world when he decided, last Summer, to take the unprecedented leap from classical ballet to the star acting role of Johnny Castle in the West End’s hit show, ‘Dirty Dancing – The Classic Story On Stage’ at the Aldwych Theatre.
Martin Harvey on winning his award said:
“I’m delighted and honoured to receive this prestigious award. I started out acting and performing from the age of six before moving onto the Royal Ballet School at 11 and went onto to have the most amazing 11 years with the Royal Ballet.”
Martin saw off competition from the English National Ballet’s Esteban Berlanga and Eric Underwood of the Royal Ballet. The Spotlight Award was presented to Martin by Eleanor Bergstein, scriptwriter and creator of the phenomenally successful film and theatre show, Dirty Dancing.
Martin Harvey auditioned for the role of Johnny Castle while still with the Royal Ballet. He had been taking acting classes for several years; however he never expected to get the first part he auditioned for. Martin was on tour in Beijing when he got the call offering him the role, immediately accepted, and says his life turned around in that one phone call: his debut performance in Dirty Dancing was in September 2008.
Since opening at the Aldwych Theatre on 24 October 2006, Dirty Dancing – The Classic Story On Stage has been seen by over a million people and is now booking for dates through to April 2010 to meet public demand!
Get your London Theatre Tickets for Dirty Dancing Here
Just a quickie to advise you that Carousel (which has been hailed as a “Total Theatrical Triumph” from critics all the way from hither to thither) will now be adding a second midweek matinee to the already busy schedule of performances. The change comes from an overwhelming public demand for afternoon shows.
Tell me why…I don’t like Mondays?
This new addition will replace the Monday night show, so from Monday 23rd March 2009 the performance schedule for Carousel will be as follows:
If you already have tickets for a Monday evening performance after this date never fear, one of our >>Tactical Theatre Operatives<< will be in contact shortly to assist you with rebooking.
*Please note that Lesley Garrett will play all performances*
These new dates are already locked and loaded in our ingenious booking system, so you can pull the entertainment trigger at will.
Speak soon…
BS
Book your Carousel Theatre Tickets Here
Reports are coming in of a strange happening involving Peter Wilson (clever producer of The Woman in Black) and funnyman Griff Reece Jones, which has all been played out aboard Mr Wilson’s luxury holiday boat in the Pacific Ocean.
It’s said the unlikely pair and entourage were interrupted in their revalry by smoke and flames, forcing them all to dive head first into the rippling Ocean and avoid injury.
The little craft was soon totally consumed by FIRE sinking to the bottom like a stone, and the horrified unfortunates found their predicament had taken an even more sinister twist…the shivering party was surrounded by a school of Hammerhead Sharks! The Sharks ultimately turned out to be as friendly as Granddad and rescue came within half an hour, so all was well.
Before the boat burning it must have been quite a party with Griff’s humour and Peter’s knack for the macabre combining to cause horrendous sparks of joy. Luckily I can be slightly flippant about it now as no one was hurt. (I’m just off the phone to Stuart, my flippancy lawyer.)
The Woman in Black is the West End’s scariest show, all about a sunken faced ghost woman whose appearance signifies the death of a child! Spooky…and Disturbing!
Funnily enough I’m probably the only person in the country not to have seen a single performance in its 19 year run at the Fortune Theatre,
Why?
Because ghost stories cripple my fear gland, playing on the mind and inducing “Twisted Night Terrors”.
It all started when my Nan showed me a haunted picture in her house. Some black and white distant relatives posing for a family portrait shortly after the death of their eldest son in the Great War, BUT THE SON IS IN THE PICTURE!!!
“We’re going to need a bigger boat”
Let me just take a moment to wish the cast and crew of the boat and shark incident a very a speedy emotional recovery.
BS
Book London Theatre Tickets Here
Read the amazing 5 Star reviews below and book you tickets early, because it looks like this show is going to be a MASSIVE HIT! Read more
The title of this post is Total and Utter Genius even if I do say so myself!!!
But wait, before you denounce me as an arrogant little twerp who has “Gone a little too far this time”, let me first offer my excuses, and the REAL reason I can so highly endorse the title of my own post…
I STOLE IT!
Let me rephrase that…I did not actually steal it, but this special headline was really the brainchild of “Jeff” (our wonderful in-house computer programmer) who sits right opposite me on the third floor of Discount Theatre towers. He had this inspired thought whilst wading though the multitude of 0s + 1s that keep our particular ship in good shape.
So not only is he responsible for the easy and secure booking system you have no doubt come to know and love over the last couple of years, but now he is also going to be my first port of call for snappy blog titles as well!
Another reason this made me smile ominously is that like all the best headlines throughout history, it surreptitiously explains exactly what the subject matter is whilst leaving plenty of room for the required intrigue and infamy that makes this a must-read, eyeball-magnet for all true theatre fans…
Now let’s get to the point; an amazing announcement has just been made that unites two mighty Shakespearian powers into an event that will rock “Mother Theatre” to her very foundations. I’m going to call this next part “One Play to Rule Them All” for reasons that will become very clear.
IAN MCKELLEN AND PATRICK STEWART ARE SET TO STAR IN SAMUEL BECKETT’S
WAITING FOR GODOT
Yes these two home-grown Hollywood heavyweights, and veterans of the stage join forces to play Beckett’s famous Tramps in a special UK tour, but more importantly (for us Londoners anyway) at The Theatre Royal Haymarket! Read more
Warning: This post is not for people who enjoy boredom.
There are shows in the west end right now that can actually help you live longer, healthier and happier lives. Here’s how…
*I’m about to get a little spiritual on your ass, but stick with me because there’s a valuable theatre fable in here somewhere!*
This week (apart from theatre excursions) I have mostly been listening to the Tony Robbins audio tapes, and for the uninitiated Robbins is one of those really obnoxious American motivators who teaches how to live your life, and love your God to the max!
So whilst pounding packed streets back to my Earls Court homestead (dodging tramps and happy shoppers) I’ve been filling my ears with success techniques form the American maverick who always finishes his broadcasts with the sickly sweet catchphrase LIVE WITH PASSION.
Is This A Big Bunch Of Bull? (You Deicide)
Lesson #1
The first lesson I learned from Tony was the Law of Attraction which suggests:
“Whatever you think about consistently will show up in your life as if by magic.”
This worked for me right-out-the-box because all day long I was thinking about cooking Sirloin Steak in foaming butter / Olive Oil, and when I got home I was Magically carrying a Waitrose bag full of all the ingredients to make Sirloin Steak in foaming butter / Olive Oil, plus the *bonus* side dish of sautéed potatoes with spring onion. I literally manifested it right out of thin air and all it took was money and effort.
== >> Interesting fact: Sirloin Steak is called Sirloin steak because Henry VIII gave it a Knighthood. He thought it was scrummy too…
Lesson #2
The next thing was a concept for planning important projects called “OPA” which stands for Outcome>Purpose>Action. (It’s crucial to do it in that order.)
Here’s my OPA plan for this post; the idea is to exaggerate a little which helps with enthusiasm, passion and mental juice.
OUTCOME: Inspire the Oliver Awards ‘People’ to create a new category called “The Theatre Blogging Lifetime Achievement Award” in my honour.
PURPOSE: Because want to enrich the humanity with timely theatre titbits.
ACTION: Type like buggery for two hours, drink Starbucks, then come back and edit the shambles of words I’ve created into something that sounds kind of theatre related.
Lesson #3
The third and most theatre relevant concept in this magical three part symphony is that:
Laughter can be a REAL cure for many of Man’s problems.
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To illustrate his point Mr Robbins tells the story of a young woman who is diagnosed with a terrible disease, and instead of going through the long-winded traditional medical treatments buys the entire box set of Sex and the City DVDs. Can you guess what happened?
CURED!
After hearing this unbelievable FACT I noticed a little cough had taken root in my throat and decided to run a test. My medicine would not be Tixylix but an absolute Only Fools and Horses FEST in a darkened room…
20 hours later my little cough HAD GONE…only to be replaced by a pulsing migraine and mild vitamin E deficiency. SO IT WORKED!
WHAT on Earth has all this got to do with Theatre?
Well as if by the magic of perfect comedy timing, no sooner has this new Laughter Cure discovery come to public attention, than the West End seems to be overrun by some of TV’s best loved comedy heroes! Breaking down invisible theatre barriers and pitching up in some of London’s most cherished venues, these comedy Fat Cats are leaving a trail of broken sales records in their wake.
YES comedians have truly invaded the West End like some medieval Roman Garrisons building the straightest roads to hilarity that the world has ever seen. Accompanied on their flights of fantastic fancy by a loyal army of fans and a ‘Grizzly Death-Move’ which involves taking an innocent member of the audience and literally splitting their sides open with well observed humor.
So without further ado here are the Holy Trinity of Funsters who are set to hold the capital under hilarious siege in coming months.
French and Saunders - Still Alive
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The “Final Tour” as Britain’s most popular duo call time or their 30 year partnership with this lap of honour. You can expect to witness some of their most famous and memorable sketches in this wet-your-knickers show at the Theatre Royal!
French Says: Dawn French was the first person every to say “Blowjob” on national television, so happily they will always have their little place in the annals of history…
Venue: Theatre Royal Drury Lane
Booking From: Wednesday, 15 October 2008
Booking Until: Saturday, 08 November 2008
Billy Bailey - Tinselworm
Apparently Bill Bailey has perfect pitch which means if you go up to him and say “Hey Bill sing me and E” he will go “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE” and that will be exactly the same as a perfect E on the Piano. Isn’t that wild!
Bill Says: Terrible lyrics from The Killers “I’ve got soul/but I’m not a soldier”, you might as well say “I’ve got ham/but I’m not a hamster.”
My girlfriend saw old Bill and his little son on the train the other day and wants me to urge you to book tickets because he seemed like a really loving father, patiently answering zillions of questions with a mild mannered benevolence.
But I know that YOU don’t care about all that mushy stuff and just want the HARD FACTS:
So I absolutely guarantee that this show will make you cry TEARS OF JOY :====
Venue: Gielgud Theatre
Booking From: Monday, 10 November 2008
Booking Until: Saturday, 20 December 2008
Eddie Izzard - Stripped
The Python influenced comedian who describes himself as a “male lesbian” is back doing what he does best after the small matter of conquering American TV and film.
Eddie Says: “So… I’ve decided there’s no God.”
My earliest recolection of Eddie Izzard is that his gigs would often come on just after Eurotrash. His crossdressing comedy missiles were always the perfect pudding after a heavy session of Eurotrash watching.
Venue: *Coming Soon*
Booking From: *Coming Soon*
Booking Until: *Coming Soon*
Laughter is no JOKE, depressing entertainment BE GONE!
I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to watch any of the following TV shows as they are ruining my juice and passion for life:
- Girl With 8 Legs
- The Man Who Ate His Lover
- Half-Ton Man
- She Stole My Fetus
- Update: I’m Glad I Ate My Legs
- The Boy Who Gave Birth To His Twin
- The Man Who Slept for 19 Years
- The 80-year-old Children
- The Two-Headed Baby!!!
No instead I’m going to spend every waking minute either attending fun-filled family theatre or watching classic comedy episodes from TV past, present and future.
You plonkers…
