My name is Benjamin Smyth III and on behalf of DiscountTheatre.com I would like to say a big fat welcome. You’re currently reading the first historic post of the long awaited (by us) Discount Theatre Blog, where you will learn about all things London Theatre, filtered through my own personal worldview. (I was deliberately vague there to leave room for veering off at strange tangents.)

It feels great to be jabbing at these little keys talking to you for the first time and I would Appreciate / Encourage / Demand with a stick that you feed back on anything we deliver in the following posts. Even if you think I’m being an old trollop!

So what can you expect from this blog?

After many all-night brainstorming sessions and piles of chocolate-covered coffee beans eaten in the vain attempt to stay alert and virile, we have decided to focus the offerings here around the following interesting and alluring parameters:

1. You will hear from us twice a week in two sexy posts (Subscribe below)
2. The ingenious posts will cover theatre news, cast interviews, first night gossip and London Theatre listings across the West End; you will also be first to hear about our famous special offers, Ticket giveaways and anything else we can think of that’s tenuously connected to theatre.
3. The goal of each and every post will be to eclipse Dickens and Shakespeare in literary genius.
4. The question I will ask myself upon opening my little eyes to the first light of morning will be “How can I be the Barack Obama of the London Theatre universe today?”

Why should you listen to me?

At first glance I look like a rather normal, yet dashing city gent who is endlessly sprinting on the souped-up treadmill of life, devoted to my quest of reaching the heady heights of personal success and financial dominance in London’s rat race. But when you dig a little further into my dark and shady past you’ll find a theatrical heart beating inside me to rival the likes of Olivier or Will Smith!

The candle of performance was first lighted in my heart at the age of five when I was enrolled in a rather decrepit and degenerating stage school. Once installed in this marvellous seat of theatre-based learning I honed my singing and dancing skills until I was like a little SAS warrior baying for bloody battle with casting directors who dared stand in my way.

My first success came in The Bill where I delivered the now legendary line “I want the car” then progressing to the heartbreaking NSPCC ads where I had to look as sad a possible for the photographer who told me to think hard about my dead dog.

But all these bit parts and one liners where just the prelude to my first big success which came 1990 at the Prince of Wales Theatre where you may have seen Mamma Mia! recently, as I beat the competition into cowering submission and won the part of Little Jake in a glittering production of ‘Annie Get Your Gun’ staring Kim Creswell.

To be honest I was only eight at the time so it all seems a bit of a blur now, but I remember that I was first cast as understudy…………….ME AN UNDERSTUDY! But then joy of joys the other boy got seriously ill and I was trust into the lead child role. (There has never been any evidence to prove that I put anything in his Cherry Coke.)

Unfortunately the public where not as enthusiastic about the production as I was and the show was cut short, shattering my tiny heart into a million pieces and showing me the more cut throat side of the West End in which cute little ginger children can be cast aside like plague-ridden rats.

I spent the next couple of years languishing out in the acting cold, ‘resting’, while I set my mind to educational prowess. After passing my SATS and furnished with all the education I would ever need, I decided It was once again time to jump into the saddle of rejection and get back out there to audition my head off.

*Embarrassing Childhood Picture Alert*

So it was that one sunny Monday morning in 1994 I found myself auditioning for Les Miserables and getting the part!

Yes I was once more thrust into childhood stardom in this three-month run at the Palace Theatre, singing and dancing in front of 2000 a night as the little urchin Gavroche. It was a strange and challenging time in which my Nan would be left penniless after spending her life savings of multiple tickets and my chaperon would have an affair with the then Jean Valjean. (Bernie was a hard woman who said she liked smoking and did not care that her constant fireworks where seriously affecting my vocal performance. The nineties were brutal man!)

The problem with ‘Les Mis’ was the fact they would grant me £20.00 everyday to go out and gorge myself before the show, which meant that with my then limited dietary palette I would head straight for Mc Donald’s quickly consume four burgers and two portions of fries. After a few weeks the waiflike Gavroche became a fat little prince who would nearly cripple the jobbing actor given the unenviable task of carrying me during a rousing Chorus of “Do you hear the people sing singing the songs of angry men.”

After this mind-bending experience in Les Miserables I got a personal trainer to shed those extra Mc Doe pounds and decided to hang up my French floppy cap and retire at the top. For a few years I lived a life of excess and debauchery in London’s music business and now find myself back in the theatre game, but this time behind the scenes talking to you. Which is Swell!

The End of the Beginning

That’s quite enough about me for one day, I feel slightly used!

Anyway I’m not sure if any of this really qualifies me to talk to you about London Theatre but all I know is that when I was offered to role of “Mouth Piece to the West End” I jumped at the chance to inhabit my spiritual home, enthusiastically taking the amulet of Theatre truth and holding it firmly in my grasp. (As you’ve probably guessed I gave myself the “Mouth Piece” title but I’m sure it will soon stick.) I also get to see most of the new shows that pass through the West End so should be able to cover the bases for you.

But the proof of the pudding is in the eating as they say, so I urge you to come back here and eat some more of my delicious, hot and creamy pudding over the coming weeks, to see what takes your fancy.

So until the next exciting instalment, “Keep it real man, Keep it theatre” - Better ‘non cheesy’ catch phrase required, please offer suggestions.

Ben

London Theatre Tickets